In September of 2022, Jehovah Rapha (The God who Heals) removed bi-polar disorder from my life after 15 years of praying for God to take it away. Impossible right? It’s 100% impossible for human beings however, nothing is impossible for God. Mark 10:27

Many individuals don’t understand mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, bi-polar disorder, and the list goes on. I suffered bi-polar disorder at an early age, and it wasn’t until 7th grade I was diagnosed with it. We found out I had it through impulsive actions such as running away, making up ridiculous stories, or uncontrollable outbursts.

Bi-polar came with a range of intense, uncontrollable emotions from sad to happy to angry in a blink of an eye. These mood swings could last for weeks and in rare cases, months. The most frightening part of this disorder was when my rage became so intense I would actually black out and not remember what I said or did. These moments are called “episodes.” When I would come out of an episode, a family member would tell me what I did and I would break down crying because I didn’t mean it or because I knew that wasn’t who I really am since it felt like a whole different being took over my body. The words I would say were so hurtful. I just wanted it all to stop, so I began to pray it to go away.

For 15 years I prayed for God to take this all away from me because I had let it control my life. For 15 years I sat in bed crying out “WHY HAVE YOU NOT HEALED ME YET GOD?!” I even allowed bi-polar to control how I connected in prayer. It was a wave that crashed over me again and again.

When I left for college in 2012, I gave up praying over it. I was giving up that this sickness would be with me for the rest of time. In 2018 I met my now husband who accepted me and all my imperfections including bi-polar – don’t worry I made sure he was well aware of what he was getting into. I love him and my family so much for how much they tried to support me. No matter the destruction they did not give up on me.

There was a night I had so much anger and rage that I nearly ruined my relationship with my husband. What did I do? I went back to God crying for help to take the disorder away from me. I didn’t want it anymore, I wanted to be better, I wanted to be better for everyone around me. I hated how I let it control me. I suffered a few more years with bi-polar so at the time, God didn’t answer my prayer yet, however, I had all the faith one day He will so my praying continued.

I look back on my journey with bi-polar and see how God was in every part. He gave me doctors to find the right medicine. He gave me therapist to talk to which helped a lot because they helped me to see I was not “crazy.” God gave me a loving family and friends. He gave me a support system. How could I have missed that? I spent years of asking for it to be removed, and yet He was always saying “here’s support for now, just wait” Psalms 27:14

September 2022, I attended a worship night at a local church. It was over the topic of healing. We learned about Jehovah Rapha during this service. I first thought of how God healed Serena (our daughter) by taking her to heaven 4 months earlier. But then Holy Spirit spoke directly to me “be free.” I was wondering if anyone else heard or felt that but it was just me. I sat in the audience starting to cry as I realized it was time to go up from prayer and ask God one more time to remove my disorder.

I went up for prayer, I approached Sunshine, the prayer team member who prayed over me. She met me eye to eye and could tell I was hurting in more ways than just grief. She asked what I wanted healing from, so I said “I am not at my highest dose of medicine with bi polar I used to be. The medicine feels like is making it worse. I would like to pray that God has finally removed bi-polar from my life. I want to be healed from it. I don’t want the medicine anymore.” She cried with me as I let her pray over me. As soon as she anointed my head with oil, I felt a sudden rush of heat flow throughout my body. I burst into tears feeling supernatural peace and began to cry believing it was removed. God used her to pray the strongest prayer I have ever felt. He used her to heal me once and for all. I have been set free from the chain which held me down for many years. God set me free.

Many were skeptical who had seen me suffer from this disorder. I met with my psychiatrist to tell her I’m coming off medicine. I told her God healed me. I prayed before seeing her because I was afraid she would say that’s impossible. It’s known as an incurable disorder and to my surprise she believed me! WOW!

We had a long discussion and she closed with sharing Romans 12:2 “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think…” I must not let the world tell me that it’s incurable when we have a God who can do the impossible.

I will admit, I had many moments of Satan trying to tell me “it’s impossible,” “God couldn’t do that,” “no way are you healed” “look you’re crying, told you” but I put my foot down and told him God DID heal me and I’m crying due to grief so he can go back to the ground because his lies will not be taking over what God did.

July 2024 I received medical proof this disorder was completely gone for those who still questioned the truth. The Lord allowed me to battle postpartum depression which was awful, BUT it served many purposes. One being that I needed to go on an anti-depressant. If you know anything about bi-polar. Anti-depressants don’t work on people with it, it can in fact make the disorder worse. I ended up getting BETTER from the anti-depressants that month, not worse! Proof bi-polar no longer exists. Praise Jesus that I don’t have to question it any longer. He is a healer! He is a redeemer!

It is currently, October 2024, and we celebrate over two years of NO bi-polar medications and ZERO episodes!! We are now celebrating the healing of Gods hands. He truly rescued me from an incurable disorder! And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.” Mark 5:34

Remember, whatever storm you are battling whether it’s a physical storm or an emotional one, never stop praying. If you are battling disease, don’t underestimate God’s power. For those who belong to Christ, you have the power within to be healed. When you give your life over to Jesus by surrendering it all to Him, your spirit transforms and is “born-again.” Meaning you have within in you the same resurrection power Christ had when He died and rose again. You too can be healed by Christ within you. “By his wounds you have been healed” 1 Peter 2:24

Written By Natalie Crane

Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever! Hebrews 13:8